As a bike commuter I spend more time noticing trends of sorts by what is on the side of the road.

For instance one could gather that the month of August was a low sales months for the local hookers as the only ghetto daffodils (used condoms) around the street are the ones from previous weeks and sometimes months (rubbers unlike a hooker’s love, last forever). Nothing indicates the economic status like used condoms and small empty baggies.

One could also gather that a rising number of degenerate dog owners have figured out that it’s okay to clean up after your dog and toss the baggie full of dog shit right into the street, where I take they assume nobody (important) will step on it. This week alone I have counted five on my route to and from work. I swerve and curse their anonymity. If I knew who did it I would collect them and leave them at their door step so they too could experience what is dog shit in bag where it shouldn’t be.

And while this next item isn’t exactly a trend it always brings me great joy to witness while the sun is out and setting.

Every now and then I will ride past a jogger lady and see everything she is working with below the waist under a sheen of thin black lycra… then I circle around the block and bare witness all over again before taking off with a big grin on my face realizing there is no kosher way of informing someone that their pants are virtually see thru when the sun hits them at the right angle. I don’t know if they are rocking the wrong jogging pants or if they just so proud they don’t care…. like fuggit my ass looks fantastic, everybody should know.