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So early Thursday morning around 1:45 am Xty and I were awoken by frantic banging on our front door gate. We finally heard enough banging to get up to the window and yell out there to see what the deal was and then as I awoke more you could hear walkie talkies and people saying fire, evacuate the building. Naturally we shit, and scrambled around and hid some stuff and then we were out of the house hoping our shit would still be there when we returned.

Once outside with all our neighbors it became clear that another neighbors car had caught fire in the alley and she had parked like 9 inches away from the garage door. Me and her down stairs neighbor have garage on either side of her and we were both lucky enough to have had our cars in the garage that night!

The firefighters were on top of it and the fire was out within 10 minutes and everyone had a smelly house and garage. It was kind of crazy to just be stuck outside of your house with no idea how bad the fire is or anything. After a few minutes they all just started leaving so we sort of assumed it was cool to go back in.

The alley was a mess and the smoldering remains of the car smelled like ass, mainly the rubber tire smell refuses to fade. My garage also smells terrible. Her garage door and frame is completely toasted.

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The tough take shits in the alley. My alley is often a look at the grim tweeker life that surrounds my little gated complex. This marvelous work of thick, chunky drip was left right next to where I park my car. The dude pooped on the other side of the fence but his dooks managed to slide on down the other side and onto the floor.

So for a while now the trash guys have not been taking our recycling and for about as long my girlfriend has been with out a job (but ironicly with a Master’s Degree) So rather than let the grumpy alley trolls that scavenge through my complex’s recyclables I decided I would keep all that crap in my house until I could no longer stand the site of it and go cash in. I haven’t actually recycled for cash since I was a Webelo and the little money I did collect went straight to McDonald’s I’m sure. I by the way was an amazingly good Boy Scout, I dressed sharp and believed every word of it until I noticed I was the only one. As I was saying though with my girlfriend being jobless the prospect of extra money for trash in my house seemed like a good trade off. To be honest I was hoping I would get enough to fund a Kool Keith ticket I got the shaft on because I had to pay rent and had only $19 in my checking account but at the same time I was ready to leave the spot with a $5.

So how did it go you say? It went okay I guess I got a “good for ghetto groceries at Pancho” or a “quick half tank of petro” $12.64. I gathered about 53 lbs of mixed glass (my Bourbon bottles are heavy as balls and Xty drinks so much American Ale you’d swear we won some lawsuit where Anheiser Busch paid us off in brew) Here’s a pic of the load that filled the trunk of my civic.

A friend sent me this link and it pretty much assured me I would have an awesome day today. This is so bad it reminds me of my old rappin’ days. Back when I lived at my parent’s house, had no job and had zero shame.

My broken down ghetto eats are soon coming to an end. Sort of, the old lady doesn’t have a job and we need loot! So we may actually continue to have a freezer with just ice trays in it.

To celebrate my creativity with boneless, skinless chicken breasts I’ve decided to showcase two of my highlights in my fly by night survival cooking exploits. Please forgive my poopy cell phone pictures.

First up is the old chicken fajita torta. The idea of a torta is pretty lame but I was super hungry and needed something to eat my fajitas with. There stood some fresh bolillo rolls and the rest was history.

Next is the chicken stew I made tonight. It was a bit on the salty side and I put too many potatos in it. But it was still delicious over rice. Good for the chilly weather.

And of course my dessert, some Old Fitzgerald on rocks in my pimp glass.