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So last night we got nuked and drove to the Sonic in Santee (it was seriously like 15 minutes away!) The watermelon slush ruled, and the burger was the stuff heart attacks are made of. It was pretty good, maybe cuz we ate it in the parking lot. On the way home I stopped by a porn store and bought a ten pack of Ez-Whips… from a guy who totally smelt like three days of unshowered spanking. Whip its are weird, they never change and make me think of death.

In other news my bicycle, the Wildwood Flower is sporting a new look for the season with some riser bars and black Oury grips. I also bought some new pink fyxation tires for her b-day, which is my b-day (Yay us!). It’s like a completely different bicycle. It is much more upright now, and it takes me a little longer to get to work when I use them in comparison to the bullhorn bars (bullhorns = me go fast) These riser bars make it easier to do normal stuff like jumping up a curb or riding around on a dirt trail making the bike even more functional. I will post a pic soon. I’m hoping I can swing a set of fyxation grips in the same pink color as the tires in a little bit. But I’m happy with the Oury’s for now. Blah blah blah I still need a helmet.

So let’s just say I been getting a little roughed up in the soft spots down below since I recently adjusted my seat. However I can’t just put my seat back to how it was because it is much better positioned now and I can ride more aggressively and it gives me a better posture. I was reading around that it could be from riding with cotton, which is usually what I’m wearing. I have been commuting for like 6 months now in cut off jeans and it’s never been a problem. More reason to believe it is related to the damn seat positioning.

So in hopes that the seat can stay where it is and I can get some crotch relief I purchased a pair of gel padded biking underwear. These can go under any regular pair of shorts and hopefully will work out for me. It is the next logical step (well I guess adjusting the seat would be, but hey…) They actually feel pretty cool and I can see why roadies would dig on dressing up in cycling gear. Although the gel chamois makes it feel like I am wearing a tiny diaper under everything.  I will be giving them a chance today. I may report back depending on how great or terrible the whole thing is.

Picked up some goodies a few days ago from… get this… Amazon. Let it be known I have never ordered a thing from Amazon, ever. First time yo! And the best part is I didn’t even click on my own link to get credit on my affiliate account (dumbshit!)

Anywhoo, I picked up a new chain, seat post clamp and a huge black… water bottle (the shit was only $2.99!!)

The chain is a Spanky’s Tweet Tweet chain, I got the black one. It looks tough, has half links and is black. It looks really black like that stuff foot ball players but under their eyes or burnt cork. That being said I’m hoping that the chain looks like the one in the above pic with something of a thick black coat of paint rather than being anodized like the red and blue. Maybe the black is also anodized and it just looks better who knows. Either way my bike has been doing me well for over 9 months so it deserves a little love.

Next is this hefty hefty seat post clamp. The Surly Constrictor is friggin massive and flat black so I’m down. I’m super into hefty, I want my bike to be a tank. Flat black everything is the way to go. I read around before buying it and it’s a good clamp if you are a fat ass and you keep pushing your seat down or if you are not a fat ass and your seat is sliding down on it’s own. I don’t really have any problems with my seat post slipping but my current clamp is dying, it is wound very tight and the screw is sticking out of it even though there is no exit hole for it. It’s a P.O.S. and needs to replaced so this part will be greatly appreciated.

Lastly for no reason other than the fact that it was $2.99 I picked up this massive 28 oz water cannon! I believe a regular old bottle is like 11 oz so this thing is over twice the size. Really, I don’t ever see myself needing that much hydration. While the thought of aiming a massive bottle at my face while on the road is pretty awesome I really bought it because the lid on my hot pink bottle has bitten the dust and I think I can take the black one off of this one and apply it to the pink one. If toy collecting has taught me anything it’s that you can make some plastic do just about anything you want if you hit it with a hair dryer for a little bit.

And a good bye treat, if you don’t think this is funny I don’t wanna know you. I apologize if the skanky pizza girl is offending to you but I found it more appealing Howard Sterns stunning visage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7UNG8a33AQ&NR=1

Most days during the week this is my route of choice to go to and from work. It is roughly an 18 mile trip. It isn’t that bad because after 8 miles I sit around for 8 hours and then do the remaining 10 miles home. I ride a single speed bike so this is the route with the least amount of incline making it so I can actually be on the bike the whole way home. I also had to drop some teeth on my chain ring to be able to do it and I must say the pedal straps help too.

View Bike Routes in a larger map

It’s taken a few months but I have made a little progress. I coated my frame and fork in hot rod black primer after stripping all the paint off. I was rockin’ the raw steel but was noticing little rust spots appearing anywhere water had been for more than a few seconds. So I sanded it down, threw some paint on it and boom. Also got the bigger pink tires in. It’s still missing a few ingredients but all in due time.