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As a bike commuter I spend more time noticing trends of sorts by what is on the side of the road.

For instance one could gather that the month of August was a low sales months for the local hookers as the only ghetto daffodils (used condoms) around the street are the ones from previous weeks and sometimes months (rubbers unlike a hooker’s love, last forever). Nothing indicates the economic status like used condoms and small empty baggies.

One could also gather that a rising number of degenerate dog owners have figured out that it’s okay to clean up after your dog and toss the baggie full of dog shit right into the street, where I take they assume nobody (important) will step on it. This week alone I have counted five on my route to and from work. I swerve and curse their anonymity. If I knew who did it I would collect them and leave them at their door step so they too could experience what is dog shit in bag where it shouldn’t be.

And while this next item isn’t exactly a trend it always brings me great joy to witness while the sun is out and setting.

Every now and then I will ride past a jogger lady and see everything she is working with below the waist under a sheen of thin black lycra… then I circle around the block and bare witness all over again before taking off with a big grin on my face realizing there is no kosher way of informing someone that their pants are virtually see thru when the sun hits them at the right angle. I don’t know if they are rocking the wrong jogging pants or if they just so proud they don’t care…. like fuggit my ass looks fantastic, everybody should know.

These fyxation tires are so effin pink! I sorta forgot because it had been so long. They are freakishly pink, like a toxic crusader. They are so bright I don’t even want to expose them to the sun because I know as soon as they see the sun they will begin a slow fade out too a chewed gum shade of pink. I remember when I got my first set of these tires I got various compliments from people in cars and random children who like pink (ewwww).

I am now the best dressed chicken in town! After staring at this thing for what felt like forever I finally pulled the trigger when the actual pain store had a 35% off sale. I’m a cheap fuxxor, what can I say.

The shoulders are a tad bit “renegade” but they will be fine once worn in.

I splurged a tiny bit and got some Rebel 8 stuff, first time. A shirt, beanie and wallet. They cool, I’m happy… done deal. GET SOME!

The shirt is a Rebel 8 x Actual Pain collaboration, it’s kinda girly and not that interesting but I liked it for some reason. I liked it even more when I realized it’s a discharge ink shirt! All about that discharge printing. It also states you are not worthy on the back of the shirt which is like extra double plus radical points.

The beanie is a plain black beanie with white embroidered 8 on it. Fits nicely and the old lady says it makes me look like a different person, which after almost 11 years is a good thing. Hiyo!

Last but not least the wallet is pretty spectacular. Whatever printing method they used is proper. It looks beat as funk and it is really soft. Rebel 8 website states it’s 100% vegan leather (??) The white ink is rubbed off of all the textured spots of the leather and then an additional treatment is given that cracks it all up (I assume). It looks like you could easily pick it off, but I haven’t had any come off yet. It also sports a little riveted hole for easy clipping to my chain wallet. The card slots actually work and may actually use it. I’m currently rocking the billfold which is the wallet worlds equivalent of freeballin (which I also rock on the daily)

So last night we got nuked and drove to the Sonic in Santee (it was seriously like 15 minutes away!) The watermelon slush ruled, and the burger was the stuff heart attacks are made of. It was pretty good, maybe cuz we ate it in the parking lot. On the way home I stopped by a porn store and bought a ten pack of Ez-Whips… from a guy who totally smelt like three days of unshowered spanking. Whip its are weird, they never change and make me think of death.

In other news my bicycle, the Wildwood Flower is sporting a new look for the season with some riser bars and black Oury grips. I also bought some new pink fyxation tires for her b-day, which is my b-day (Yay us!). It’s like a completely different bicycle. It is much more upright now, and it takes me a little longer to get to work when I use them in comparison to the bullhorn bars (bullhorns = me go fast) These riser bars make it easier to do normal stuff like jumping up a curb or riding around on a dirt trail making the bike even more functional. I will post a pic soon. I’m hoping I can swing a set of fyxation grips in the same pink color as the tires in a little bit. But I’m happy with the Oury’s for now. Blah blah blah I still need a helmet.