Today I went to a dentist for the first time in a little over six years and to my great surprise I had not one single cavity! I am blessed with my father’s teeth. My mom was recently complaining that my dad would eat all types of sweets and soda and would never get cavities.

The main reason I went was because my fang teeth are sort of disintegrating at the gum line, I thought it was tooth decay or something and have pretty much not had soda or candy for about a year and half now. Finally I said F it and went to go get a cleaning and an x-ray before it got any worse. Turns out I brush too hard and have worn off my enamel and am now well on my way to brushing to the root!!! I never saw myself as such a barbaric brusher but they said I need to use soft brushes and recommended me some fancy electronic brush (rotadent).

On a not so good note my dentist said my gums seem extremely tender and swollen and thinks I may need a deep cleaning which involves numbing my mouth and scraping nice and hard to kill any potential plaque that may be under the gum line. It does not sound fun at all and is quite expensive ($191.00 per quadrant of my mouth, that includes a discount since I don’t have insurance) but really I was not so upset because the girl who told me had really nice teeth and an awesome rack 😯

Speaking of racks I recently ate at this place called Phil’s BBQ and I swear to you as a prissy bastard who usually refuses to get his hands dirty and has at times been seen eating ribs with a knife and fork… these were the best damn ribs I have ever eaten. I dug in with hands and face. They were so good I have spent the last two days yelling the word “RIBS!!!” every five hours or so. I can still smell them at random times throughout the day. Their boneless chicken wasn’t all that though, it totally tasted like lighter fluid. Oddly enough I liked the flavor as much as I disliked it. It was confusing so I figure the ribs were better because there was no doubt in my mind, once I bit into the first rib and all the meat slid off I was sold.

This is an article my old lady brought to my attention earlier this morning. Awful news that for some reason didn’t surprise me one bit. I took a little passage out that included my favorite line in the whole article.

“Water providers rarely disclose results of pharmaceutical screenings, unless pressed, the AP found. For example, the head of a group representing major California suppliers said the public “doesn’t know how to interpret the information” and might be unduly alarmed.”

Read more here

If I see Amy Poehler do another Hillary Clinton next week I will begin writing hate mail.

That is all.