Happy Birthday Woody Guthrie

July 13th, 2015

One of the coolest doods ever!

 

Happy Un-Birthday Blind Lemon!

July 10th, 2015

Alright so I’m sitting here and get an email from my calendar that states it is Blind Lemon Jefferson’s birthday on the 11th (I have a bunch of blues and other musicians bdays in a calendar) so I do a quick check and that shit says it is in September 24,1893 and that he himself claimed it was in October 26, 1894. where the fuck I got July, 11 I will never know. Please note that in hunting down my favorite blind lemon tune the only video I found is one with a picture of Blind Blake.

The lesson, whatever it is I am telling you… there’s a slight chance it’s some bullshit haha

Then I’m thinking it’s a trip that back then your birth date was some shit you just kinda rounded up or down on. Only civilized people give a shit what day and time it is. I imagine if you are self sufficient farmer type back then you get used to just knowing time by what is going on around you. ie: leaves falling *must be fall*, it’s getting dark *must be getting late*

Then I threw on the foil hat and started getting paranoid about calendars and what could potentially be gained by convincing me that that is what time is and then giving me hours minutes and seconds to make sense of it all with. I get it’s a metric to make sense of things with so I will let it slide for now and put the foil hat away… fuxxors.

 

No man!

June 10th, 2015

I live right by an elementary school which basically means at 8am i hear Pharrell Williams “happy” at least 4 times. mixed in with some frozen songs, Taylor Swift and other sort of audio soft programing music. Cheesy shit they would play while fireworks go off and what not.

Yes, teach the kids that life is really all about a feeling and that if they peruse said feeling time will actually slow down while you swing your hair around an shit and we’ll all start dancing in unison to a super crappy beat with some chick takin a fat dump all over the track. Teach them that it’s all about spending them green backs but leave out the part about how they actually have to work for that shit. Them kids gonna grow to be empty vessels, the kind that turn their parents in for thought crimes.

It really is kind of scary. Better you than me though.

 

Lessons in wood

May 3rd, 2015

So today I learned a really good lesson in wood working. I recently purchased a carver banjo kit and decided to make some new bridges for it. A walnut one for late night and a pine wood one for letting her ring.

I got about 90% thru before I realized the wood grain was vertical instead of horizontal like all my other bridges. I realized this was a rather big oversight onmy part because all wooden stuff in my house has the grains going in whatever direction is the longest.

So I said fuck it, janky bridge still worka good so I go thru and sand it a bunch get it nice and smooth. I applied some wax to give it a lil pop and as I was wiping wax off I snapped that fucker in two :(

So yeah, going to start that over tommorrow.

 

Fare Thee Well…

April 15th, 2015

The big bad AMFM has been taken out of its misery and laid to rest. What started out as a glimmer in th eye of some kid and his friend in high school and ultimately ended up being an endeavor I took on alone was a great learning experience and gave me a lot of insight into what it must be like for my previous and current employers who run their own businesses and pay me to work there. It was fun but very demanding and I felt I gave it all I could.

 

What theeee fuck

July 1st, 2014

I love that imaginary people believing in imaginary bearded white men claim freedom while freedom takes it in the arse. Your dog is stupid, your kids are ugly, nobody really loves you and you will die alone in a mountain of debt. Fuck yeah america!

 

Does one fuck with baby bird?

June 24th, 2014

So yesterday I was heading out to work and I saw the cutest little fluffy baby bird in our courtyard. I had made a point to move out of it’s way so it wouldn’t fly away like all birds usually do and I noticed it just kinda stood there and looked adorable.

Upon my return from work I come into the courtyard and the lil bird bird was still just jumping around and walking all over the place making lil birdie chirps. I began to wonder if something was up with it. I don’t know shit about birds and assumed he had gone for a test flight and failed. I filled a growler cap with water and put it outside. It began to get dark and I was wondering how it would fare against the night time. I kept going outside and watching the lil bird jump around. I began to plot on how to make a temporary bird shelter for a tiny flightless bird. Then I thought seek temporary shelter in my beard young birdie you are welcome here ๐Ÿ˜›

Naturally as any good thought begins to occur there is another one behind it with a big ass knife. What if just like two days of hanging out in my beard or in a make shift tiny flightless bird shelter turn him into a social outcast amongst his bird people? While this all started in some effort to save a birdie what is it I am really trying to do here?

I don’t wanna see a lil fluffy dead birdie on my way to work tomorrow morning. So naturally I attempt to alter the course of nature. Two birds with one stone. Save a bird AND feel great about doing it (I SAVED A BIRD!)

So I thought to my self… you really don’t want that cute fluffy baby bird blood on your hands do you? Are you gonna piss away a chance to help an innocent fluffy birdie? Would saving him sentence him to a life time of social isolation? Does one fuck with baby bird? Does one fuck with nature?

Google search for what to do with baby birds out of nest and away I go. Crash course on baby birds. Shortly it became clear to me that the answer is NO. Do not fuck with baby bird. His mom is nearby and that bird is learning shit. I decided I felt okay with that and decided that this planet probably has a better idea of what’s going on than I do and if that lil bird is meant to go then it’s meant to go.

It was a nice series of thoughts with a sweet conclusion. Some people just save the damn bird. I have an internal battle and decide to do nothing. These ideas cause me to see my place in the world from a greater view point. There is a lot of crazy shit going on right now all over the world and it’s really easy to ignore because once you pay attention it becomes a lot to take in. Humans tend to disrupt stuff. Sometimes out of malice other times with the best intentions. There are many forces at work and even though I complain and express frustration often I am incredibly grateful for each and every second spent complaining and expressing frustration. Death is weird, life is weird, birds are weird. Shit is mad weird yo!

I must admit I came out this morning and looked for a cute fluffy dead bird X_X

Edit – I left for work today and stood there quietly searching all over and I heard a lil shuffling of leaves. Out came the lil birdie! Already a lil taller and less fat than yesterday haha. So cool ๐Ÿ˜€

 

What’s New?

May 28th, 2014

Go fuck yourself, that’s what’s new. I been brewing horrible beer and playing the same shitty songs on my banjo. Thankfully the wife has not decided to remove my head and is very supportive… but yeah that keg in the garage sucks my asshole. The worst part is i made it! like having a child and realizing it just isn’t that bright. I’ve been on a rather magnificent spree of bad brews. However I will persist. I will eventually cook up something I can drink without retching after every sip.

 

Sleep is for Suckers

December 14th, 2013

He walks like a cowboy, spits like a girl and keeps a well groomed mustache. 17 days ago a man told him to be in the pasta isle of his local Albertson’s at 2:00 pm. While there he would encounter a woman with child purchasing pasta sauce. He was to stab her twice in the stomach and the child once in the neck. He was told his part in this would be important and that if he didn’t succeed he would be killed at 2:00 am the following morning.

I chose to use an Applebee’s steak knife from the previous Friday.

 

Paul Kaiju is a Fucking Beast

December 9th, 2013

Paul Kaiju Shit Poop

HOLY FUCK YO!!!!!

 

WTFB

October 16th, 2013

recently i have caught myself writing long rants on fb and then i stop and paste them into my blog (to be positive that not a single person will read it, am i right … am i right? sheeeeeeit) where i proceed to write more and save it as a draft and then NEVER publish it hahaha which goes to show volumes. the shit felt like content, very meaningful content at that but i think it was more important to just write it down regardless or what it really was. or maybe it was perfectly valid content and I am practicing subconscious self censorship. Fuckin weird.

 

Good Shit Bruh

September 17th, 2013

god damn so i saw two things recently that made feel something for the first time in a while, mainly anxiety but hey man, that shit counts.

first was Behind the Candelabra (I KNOW!!!) I dunno to be honest I thought the shit was gonna be lame. For various reasons. But those fucks killed it. I was balled up in my couch all anxious and grossed out by their toxic relationship. And dying the whole movie every time mr. douglas was on the screen. there was just a bunch of weird shit in the movie and i was not disappointed.

the second was this last recent episode of braking bad. HOLY FUCK! I barely even breathed. For reals just watching all tense and anxious as fuck as walt’s whole shit begins to unravel. The whole show is overwhelming as fuck because this is it, no more after this.